BARNEY ~ THE BEGINNING
by
Jean-Irene E. Ungar
In 1984 on the
afternoon of May 29th, I was waiting “my turn” for my three-month check-up
by my Oncologist. Trying not to look at the other people in the waiting room,
who like me, have or had cancer, I silently slipped a copy of GUIDEPOSTS
MAGAZINE from my purse. The monthly column, His Mysterious Ways,
caught my eye and I read quickly the short story of a gal who prayed for a
specific sign of a single red rose before she was to have emergency kidney
surgery. It touched me deeply and I said to myself, “Hey God, that’s neat!
How about doing something like that just for ME?” I did not have much time to
think about it as my name was called and I jumped up, heart pounding, mouth dry,
following the nurse to an examining room.
On February 4,
1982, I awoke from breast biopsy surgery and learned that my right breast had
been removed along with a block of lymph nodes. The surgeon informed me that all
the cancer was removed. “Thank You, God, it’s GREAT to be alive!” A
few days later I was told that two lymph nodes were “positive” and thus I
was to undergo one year (12 cycles) of Chemotherapy and 24 Radiation treatments.
I cried and cried but I walked on through this dark valley of deep depression,
not feeling well, not being able to concentrate, losing my hair and feeling
“yucky” most of the time. My God, my husband Bob, my family, my neighbors
and friends all walked with me. Our Samoyed, Teddy, was my
constant companion offering his heavy white paw in comfort and sympathy. Teddy
and I attended Advanced Obedience Training, practiced daily and graduated. Also
cheering me on and keeping me busy were the children, teachers and staff at
Saint John Lutheran Day School, Niles, where I was employed as Parish Secretary.
During this period of time, it was most difficult to see the light at the end of
the tunnel …. but the chemo and radiation treatments did end, my hair grew
back thicker than ever, my concentration and energy started to return, and my
love and appreciation for life had been enhanced beyond words!
As time continues to put more distance between me and this dark valley in
my life, I tend to not think about it. However, I am reminded of the fine line
between trying to forget and getting what cancer survivors call the “cancer
crazies” whenever it is time for another check-up, test, scan, X-ray or
whatever.
This particular afternoon in May 1984, my Oncologist tells me that it is
time for a “routine” bone scan. “Routine,” he says, “You know what a
thorough guy I am!” Sure, I know him very well by now and I trust him through
my tears and fears, making the necessary appointment for the bonescan as soon as
possible just to get it over with and get on with my life.
The next morning a
friend from Church drove me to and from the hospital for the necessary injection
four hours before the scan was scheduled. My faithful friend, Irene, talks on
and on about many things attempting to break through my tension. She told me how
her youngest son, Russell, came home with a little puppy in his arms. She had
known that their dog “Boots” sired a litter in the neighborhood but was more
surprised when Russ came home carrying a squirming pup in his arms. Knowing
Russell as I do, I could just imagine him standing there, telling his folks
“But, gee, he’s Boots’ son and we just have to keep him.” all the
while displaying a huge Cheshire grin.
At lunch I told my
husband about the Russ’ new puppy and how they named him “Duke” after
Irene’s favorite movie star, John Wayne. We laughed about it and talked about
the puppies a lot. As we drove back to the hospital, Bob said, “Why don’t
you think about the puppies while waiting for the scan to be over? Think about
how it would be if one of them came to live with us.” Well it takes about an
hour of lying still with this huge hunk of machinery grinding back-and-forth
above your body, so I had a LOT of time to think! It was fun and my imagination
kept me occupied and relaxed.
On our way home,
Bob decided that I might enjoy visiting Duke and Boots. While there, we learned
that there were still a few puppies left. We looked at each other and then
walked across the street to see the puppies. The remaining four were on a back
porch, 3 girls and a boy. We had talked previously about how nice it would be
for Teddy to have a little buddy. As I picked up the little brown and black
fuzzy puppy, I said, “We’ll take this one.” I looked up at my husband, my
friend and her son -and they were all grinning!
THIS WAS MY
“SIGN” THAT ALL WOULD BE WELL……AND SO IT WAS!
We named him Barney
Google. Eventually he became
affectionately known as “Barney The Goog.”
Teddy loved his new little “brother” and I was relaxed and at peace ~
a peace which only God can give ~ and what a gift!
The bone scan was clear except for a cracked rib, which was healing. I had probably cracked it coughing or playing volleyball. It really doesn’t matter because I had Barney now to remind me of God’s gift of peace to ME every day.
CANINE COGNITIVE DYSFUNCTION (doggie
Alzheimer’s)
by Jean Ungar in Memory of Barney the
Goog
(April 1984 ~ December 29, 1999)
As
our Barney (Benji-Terrier mix) began to show his age around his 13th
year by slowing down a little bit. He
had always been an extremely healthy dog.
While
on vacation in June of 1998, (his 14th year) we first noticed him
having a problem settling down at night. He
continued to circle and pace aimlessly and wouldn’t stay on the couch or our
bed. I gave him some Rescue
Remedy and it seemed to help a little bit.
As
the summer progressed, the pacing continued and I noticed that he always circled
to the left. He also began walking
close to a wall and would seem to get lost in a corner, then whimper for some to
come and “save” him. He began to stick his head into spaces where he would
actually get stuck, whimper until someone came to “save” him again.
We began putting pillows and or large unmovable objects in these spots,
but he always managed to find another place.
He was sleeping longer in the mornings and also taking longer naps during
the day and not greeting us at the door when we came home with his usual
“singing” along with our Samoyed, Buddy.
He ceased to wag his tail and run around the yard.
Did not show an interest if squirrels where out there either.
He was also losing weight. At
age 2 he weight 34 lbs. At his
heaviest, he weighed in at 42 lbs.
We
had our Vet check him out and Barney started on the drug ANIPRYL in January of
1999. We noticed a few slight
improvements. His weight in
February was 30 lbs. His naps
became shorter, he would wake up on his own in the mornings, would lift his leg
to pee and even wag his tail occasionally.
A few times he even greeted us at the door and ran around the whole yard
a few times with his tail up instead of it just hanging down almost between his
legs. His bark became weaker and
his singing, too, became less and less.
He weighed 28 lbs. in March. He
no longer looked out the front window when he knew my husband would be coming
home.
In April as he turned 15, he started having “accidents” in the house, and we had to watch him closely. We started hand-feeding him because he seemed to have lost interest in his food. So I would start him off one piece of kibble at a time, then a handfull. He also loved Mighty Dog canned Chicken and Liver flavor, which was kind of messy to feed. Eventually, his eyesight wasn’t the greatest up close and he would chomp down on our fingers, so we went to a large tablespoon. We started adding cooked ground beef, mashed potatoes, lamb baby food to the diet – anything to keep him eating. Two feedings a day started to take about an hour each. I sat on the kitchen floor crossed legged, having him lay across my legs, while I would sing to him or just talk with him telling him how much we loved him while coaxing him to eat his “nummies. I even bought a special Tupperwear double dish designed to keep food warm as it took so long to feed him.
It is purple and pink - not boy dog colors at all!
The
little “improvements” became less and less and we took him off the ANIPRYL
after 6 months. In July his weight
was down to 26 ½ lbs. Eventually we even started to hold a small water dish for him
to be sure he would drink enough. We
continued like this, spending more and more time caring for him until he started
having a problem holding himself up to make poop.
At times, we also had to “tickle” him to remind him to pee.
Nearing Christmas he started to just lay down outside, not exactly fall
down, but just lie there. We had a
very quiet “BLUE” Christmas together as we knew it was our last one with
Barney.
On
December 29th we looked at each other and said, “It is time,
isn’t it?” And so it was.
We
held a special little ceremony before we left for that final trip to his Vet
with Bob and I and Buddy and Barney sitting in a small circle under our
Christmas tree. I lit a special candle bought just for Barney and then blessed
him and Buddy with Holy Water a friend brought me from her church. We then
prayed with tears streaming down our cheeks that he would have a safe journey to
The Rainbow Bridge.